Off to My Land of Oz

Mornings, sunrises and new beginnings (Sittwe, Rakhine Township, Myanmar; 2017)

The last few weeks feel like a Dorothy moment for me. After two weeks of grieving what could have been an ideal role and organization mainly because of financial constraints, I thought that the blessing of the opportunity coming by was the crystallization of my heart's desire. Never before had God's will for me been that clear. It was an answer to my prayers for clarity of God's will and my heart's desire.  Hence, when I was invited once again to come for an interview and this time with the executive director, my heart jumped. Although the interview, which turned out to be a meeting to discuss what the organization wanted to offer me, left me smiling under the early afternoon sun as I walked away from the coffee shop where we met, it also somehow left me feeling like Dorothy swept by a tornado to the magical Land of Oz.

The decision to accept the job offer means having to relocate to a place I never thought I'd consider living in. It means living away from my adolescent son. It means having to live in a culture quite different from what I had been used to and having to learn a new language (or several languages). While it's still four weeks till I move to my duty station, I already feel like Dorothy being swept away from the comforts of my familiar Kansas into an unknown and totally different world.

Now that I am being transported into this new world, I'm feeling overwhelmed with all the preparations that  the move calls for - for myself, for my son, and for our household. On top of all these external preparations, I'm also dealing with the inner preparations for this new chapter in my journey. While the change is frightening and overwhelming and while I am aware that the internal upheaval has yet to fully set in, deep inside, I also feel a sense of anticipation. New colleagues, new role and new work environment, a job that sets my heart on fire, a space of my own, an opportunity to make a truly meaningful contribution in peace and development and in the individual lives of people I will encounter, and somehow starting life anew.

The change is unsettling, but the new life ahead and the opportunities it offers for growth - not just for me but also for my son and for my relationship with him and my other significant others - are also heart-stirring. I know that as I prepare for this move and transition into my new world, I will continue to face and slay many internal demons, pretty much like Dorothy's landing in Oz killing the Wicked Witch of the East. There is a big difference though. While Dorothy killed the witch by accident, my journey will require intentionally winning over and slaying my many inner dark witches. And when fear and worry try to snatch from me this resolve to follow these ardent desires of my heart, I'll hold on to the kisses planted in my soul by my inner Good Witch from the North.