Exhausted

First, the frequent massages.  Next, the retreat. Then, the yoga.  I knew something was wrong. We've labeled it peri-menopause, but the general feeling is exhaustion.  

I turned to one of my spiritual mentors and this is the blessing he gave:  

When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,

Time takes on the strain until it breaks;

Then all the unattended stress falls in

On the mind like an endless, increasing weight. 

The light in the mind becomes dim.

Things you could take in your stride before 

Now becomes laborsome events of will. 

Weariness invades your spirit.

Gravity begins falling inside you,

Dragging down every bone. 

The tide you never valued has gone out.

And you are marooned on unsure ground.

Something within you has closed down;

And you cannot push yourself back to life.

You have been forced to enter empty time. 

The desire that drove you has relinquished.

There is nothing else to do now but rest

And patiently learn to receive the self

You have forsaken in the race of days. 

At first your thinking will darken

And sadness take over like listless weather.

The flow of unwept tears will frighten you. 

You have traveled too fast over false ground.

Now your soul sad come to take you back. 

Take refuge in your senses, open up

To all the small miracles you rushed through.

Become inclined to watch the way of rain

When it falls slow and free.

Imitate the habits of twilight,

Taking time to open the well of color

That fostered the brightness of day.

Draw alongside the silence of stone

Until its calmness can claim you. 

Be excessively gentle with yourself. 

Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.

Learn to linger around someone of ease

Who feels they have all the time in the world. 

Gradually, you will return to yourself.

Having learned a new respect for your heart

And the joy that dwells far within slow time. 

(John O'Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us)