Week 2: A Photograph from Childhood

Kaka:  My Joyful Inner Child

The picture was taken at the garden of my maternal grandparents' house where my family lived until I was around six. I was too young to remember the scene but somehow the feeling that the child in the picture conveys is familiar.  This is a child basking in pure joy. 

In my mid-20s, I started taking interest in the concept and process of reclaiming the inner child.  I remember first getting in touch with a weepy, whiny wounded child.  I have a picture of that child as well but I can't find my photo album now. Over the years, as I continued the journey toward healing my wounded inner child, I got in touch with my joyful inner child whom I had named Kaka.  "Nandiyan na si Kaka, bubuka-bukaka" (a riddle for scissors).  

This was a playful child who loved playing under the sun despite her lola's warning that doing so would give her head lice. This was a  naughty child who once tried to play a joke on her elders by attempting to turn off the water supply to the hose they were using but unfortunately tripped before she could do so;  she ended up with a wound, the scar of which is still visible on her leg. This was a child who had no cares in the world.  She would sing at the top of her voice using electric cords as microphone.  One time, she accidentally pulled the cord too hard, knocking down the lamp to which it was connected and breaking it beyond repair.  

It is Kaka's joy I try to access when I'm feeling overwhelmed by the demands of adulthood.  It is her joy I try to return to when pain drags me to the border of depression. It is from her I draw strength when I fall and fail, knowing the wound and scar will eventually heal.