My Ambivalence about Mother's Day
After interrogating me about why there should be a mother's day and when son's and daughter's days will be, my son swung to the other direction and started asking me what book I'd like. I know he was planning to get me one for mother's day. That is really sweet. But, I haven't given him any title. Aside from having a good reserve of e-books to last me a year, I have strong reactions against the commercialization of celebrations not to mention an ambivalence about mother's day celebration itself.
Last Friday, i chanced upon a write-up of one of my respected authors, Anne Lamott. I could resonate with so much of what she had written and this prompted me to face my own ambivalence about celebrating mother's day. (Anne Lamott's article: http://www.salon.com/2010/05/08/hate_mothers_day_anne_lamott/)
My greatest reaction against celebrating mother's day is that I don't believe it celebrates the true essence of motherhood. To me, motherhood is more than just the experience of childbirth. Motherhood is a conscious decision to go beyond oneself in order to give birth to and nurture something or someone not for the sake of personal fulfillment but in order to see what was planted to grow into its fullest potential and contribute towards creating a tomorrow that is much better than today.
I have known a lot of women (and men) who have not given birth to children but who to me would count as among the most amazing mothers in the world. These are women who have birthed wonderful visions and ideas which made life so much better not only for their small circle of family and friends but for hundreds of nameless and faceless people. These are women who generously share their time, energy, and talent in order to feed the many hungers of this world. These are women whose deep sense of compassion and commitment to one-anothering fills the emptiness of many who are physically or emotionally abandoned and whose hearts crave for love and acceptance. These are creative women whose works affirm the beauty of the soul. These are women who are role models to us of how it is to be a woman of depth and meaning, a woman of worth and conviction, a woman of joy despite the pains. These are women who mirror to us how it is to give birth to our higher Selves, to the Self that bears our highest potentials.
I believe these are what we ought to celebrate on Mother's Day. Therefore, mother's day is for many of us who choose to commit ourselves to a cause or ideal higher than the Self or wider than one's family circle and to nurturing the continually evolving Self. And I believe too that for many of us, more than the flowers and gifts given to us by our children, the greatest gift of this celebration is seeing the fruits of our sweat and tears in the kind of world that is evolving. For, we have chosen to be active rather than indifferent, self-centered "humanoids".
And so, to all of us, I dedicate this anonymously written prayer:
Last Friday, i chanced upon a write-up of one of my respected authors, Anne Lamott. I could resonate with so much of what she had written and this prompted me to face my own ambivalence about celebrating mother's day. (Anne Lamott's article: http://www.salon.com/2010/05/08/hate_mothers_day_anne_lamott/)
My greatest reaction against celebrating mother's day is that I don't believe it celebrates the true essence of motherhood. To me, motherhood is more than just the experience of childbirth. Motherhood is a conscious decision to go beyond oneself in order to give birth to and nurture something or someone not for the sake of personal fulfillment but in order to see what was planted to grow into its fullest potential and contribute towards creating a tomorrow that is much better than today.
I have known a lot of women (and men) who have not given birth to children but who to me would count as among the most amazing mothers in the world. These are women who have birthed wonderful visions and ideas which made life so much better not only for their small circle of family and friends but for hundreds of nameless and faceless people. These are women who generously share their time, energy, and talent in order to feed the many hungers of this world. These are women whose deep sense of compassion and commitment to one-anothering fills the emptiness of many who are physically or emotionally abandoned and whose hearts crave for love and acceptance. These are creative women whose works affirm the beauty of the soul. These are women who are role models to us of how it is to be a woman of depth and meaning, a woman of worth and conviction, a woman of joy despite the pains. These are women who mirror to us how it is to give birth to our higher Selves, to the Self that bears our highest potentials.
I believe these are what we ought to celebrate on Mother's Day. Therefore, mother's day is for many of us who choose to commit ourselves to a cause or ideal higher than the Self or wider than one's family circle and to nurturing the continually evolving Self. And I believe too that for many of us, more than the flowers and gifts given to us by our children, the greatest gift of this celebration is seeing the fruits of our sweat and tears in the kind of world that is evolving. For, we have chosen to be active rather than indifferent, self-centered "humanoids".
And so, to all of us, I dedicate this anonymously written prayer:
God, be with the mother.
As she carried her child, may she carry her soul.
As her child was born whole, may she give birth and life and form to her own truth.
As she nourished and protected her child, may she nourish and protect her inner life and her independence.
For the soul shall be her most painful birth, her most difficult child, and the dearest sister to her children.
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