2012's Warm Blessings
The world was supposed to have ended two Fridays ago -12.21.12 - but we are still very much alive and it's still very much the same world we were living in on Thursday, the 20th, and the days before that. With the speculations about the end of the world behind us and the calendar changing in a couple days, I feel the invitation to quiet down and reflect on the year that was.
A part of me feels a certain regret and guilt. 2012 happened so fast and it feels like the year passed me by. "Where was I in 2012," I find myself asking. I still struggle with keeping a healthy balance between personal life and work life. I regret having to miss milestones in the life of good friends and compromising time with people I care about because I could not get away from work. I feel a pinch of guilt at being too spent at the end of most work days that I was hardly disposed for quality time with my precious one anymore. Here goes another one for my 2013 list of growth edges.
Thankfully, it's not all regret and guilt that mark my psycho-emotional landscape as the year draws to a close. There were no spectacular highlights to boast of but there's a deep sense of quiet contentment coming from the feeling that, despite everything, it was a blessed year. What greater way to acknowledge the gifts and show my gratitude to the Giver (and to invite abundance) than to count my blessings. The blue-sky spirit in me prompted me to count my 12 blessings and I had more in my list. It's a good exercise in values clarification though to prioritize, so I'll stick to 12.
My bakers' dozen blessings in 2012:
And here's my 13th. . . they say 13 is a lucky number and 2013 is just around the corner and I said bakers' dozen earlier and I just have to say this. . . my breast growths are down to 20 cysts. No more solid nodules recorded in my recent ultrasound and breast mammo.
A part of me feels a certain regret and guilt. 2012 happened so fast and it feels like the year passed me by. "Where was I in 2012," I find myself asking. I still struggle with keeping a healthy balance between personal life and work life. I regret having to miss milestones in the life of good friends and compromising time with people I care about because I could not get away from work. I feel a pinch of guilt at being too spent at the end of most work days that I was hardly disposed for quality time with my precious one anymore. Here goes another one for my 2013 list of growth edges.
Thankfully, it's not all regret and guilt that mark my psycho-emotional landscape as the year draws to a close. There were no spectacular highlights to boast of but there's a deep sense of quiet contentment coming from the feeling that, despite everything, it was a blessed year. What greater way to acknowledge the gifts and show my gratitude to the Giver (and to invite abundance) than to count my blessings. The blue-sky spirit in me prompted me to count my 12 blessings and I had more in my list. It's a good exercise in values clarification though to prioritize, so I'll stick to 12.
My bakers' dozen blessings in 2012:
- Enzo (he now prefers to have his name spelled this way) survived an early stage dengue in the care of a trusted, dedicated, and very reliable doctor. (Thanks, Lucia!)
- At 82, Nanay continues to be healthy and very functional in more ways than one.
- The fidelity of close friends in spite of challenges in terms of time and distance had been a strength to draw from. 2012, just like the years prior to that, polished me once more in the beautiful but truly challenging art of learning to receive and give love in its truest sense.
- I couldn't imagine it 8 months ago but, yes, we did survive 8 months without a househelp. It was a real lesson in letting go and in values clarification. (Thanks for the helpful gadgets that our entrepreneurs have introduced in order to make life a little easier for us. The magic mop is on top of my list. I should say though that I also need to be discerning next year as I had been so gullible to so many useless gadgets as well - the magic steam iron is my number 1 here.)
- It's a joy to discover new friends in the most unexpected places and to nurture these new friendships.
- 2012 is an ideal travel year for me - one vacation spent with Enzo in Davao and another one spent on my own in San Vicente, Palawan. Davao was paradise because of Enzo's being part of the trip and all the yummy durian I had plus the opportunity to have my son more involved in my work. We also had new bonding experiences with the zipline (my first) in Eden Farms and fire dance viewing at the Crocodile Park. San Vicente was paradise because of the paradise that the Long Beach was and the soul connection strengthened by the trip.
- I finally got on my feet (or was it my butt?) to start blogging. It is soul-expanding to get in touch with and nurture my creative writing abilities once again and to use the gifts of healing and writing to accompany others even as I walk my own healing journey.
- Enzo was involved in two inter-school competes this year: Science in Maciprisa and Sportswriting-Journalism in the division meet. More than coming home with medals for both competitions, seeing my son grow up into a responsible person filled with potentials and good enough amount of self-confidence is a source of deep joy.
- Twinnie (my twin sister :-)) was in town for an unplanned visit. It was a quick one but a true blessing indeed to spend time with someone I dearly love.
- After a long, long time, I gave a seminar to a group of more than 200 teaching and non-teaching personnel of the Daughters of Charity schools in Cebu and nearby provinces. The synchronicity of things - being able to make myself available for this and the availability of the participants and blindly submitting a theme on the Spirituality of Work in the field of education and finding out on the day of the conference that the theme flowed so well with the Sesquicentennial theme of the DCs in 2012) only affirmed how everything was part of God's greater scheme of things.
- We've had one of the worst floodings during the Habagat. I cannot forget how stressed I was to see the flood barely an inch from our porch and just a step from our one-storey house's main door at 7 PM. Adrenaline rush allowed me and Nzo and my 82-year old mother to raise our sofa and bring up Nanay's more than 30 year-old sewing machine from the garage to the house and to bring precious books and important documents to the highest shelves available. I hardly slept that night but tried not to panic as I monitored the flood every hour. That Habagat night, I was polished in at least three important ways - (1) learning to let go of the unessential and being clear about what truly matters, (2) being strong for my family, and (3) trusting in God's providence and care (I still remember how we all held the miraculous medals of our Lady given by my DC friends throughout the night). In this day and age, yes, I still believe in miracles - almost all the houses around us had flood inside their houses, even the one that's supposed to be on the highest ground did. Ours was dry.)
- Our office transfer from West Avenue (just a 30-45 minute ride from home and a few hundred meters walk from the unloading bay) to Ortigas (two rides from home and eating up about 4 hours of my day) was one of my worst nightmares in 2012. Yet, I survived it. . . as i learned the art of sleeping, meditating, taking breakfasts on the road and deciphering the van drivers' mobile language.
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| Among the blessings of 2012 that I am truly grateful for |
And here's my 13th. . . they say 13 is a lucky number and 2013 is just around the corner and I said bakers' dozen earlier and I just have to say this. . . my breast growths are down to 20 cysts. No more solid nodules recorded in my recent ultrasound and breast mammo.
It was not an easy year, but 2012 was definitely a year filled with warm blessings. As one of my favorite songs goes, "what a journey it has been."
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