An Open Letter to 2013
Dear 2013,
You will be here in 17 hours. I face your coming with deep anticipation and with lots of hope for a better year. Here are my hopes and wishes as you come.
Please do not pass by so fast as your predecessor did. I hope to see you unfold with all of ME present to you and your unfolding. I want to savor every minute of you and be able to take time to smell the flowers, taste the goodness, feel every emotion, and see and hear everything that you bring. I want to be truly present to each and every moment of your passing, 2013. Please constantly remind me to live the moment.
I still struggle with keeping a healthy balance between my personal and work lives. I know I had improved a bit this year, but I think there is more growing up to do in this area of my life. 2013, please help me to be clearer about my boundaries and priorities. I want to approach my work with dedication and passion and excellence not just because I have to but because I see my work as an expression of my creative self, a reflection of the co-creator that God created each of us to be. Let this be the driving force of all my labor this year: knowing that as I do my work I do my share in God's ongoing work of co-creation to make this world a better, happier, and peaceful place to live. And yet, please don't let me fall prey to Messianic complex tendencies and inappropriate martyrdom. Gently nudge me each time I fall into the trap of self-neglect and of compromising loved ones and other things that are of equal, if not more, value than paid work. Help me to say yes to what is truly important at any given time. Don't let me stray from my life call.
Enzo is turning 13! I'm still in awe as I do my mental scan of his transformation from the fetus that I saw in our first ultrasound of him to the growing boy that he is now. I can deny it if I want, but he is showing all the signs of moving into adolescence. Adolescence, oh, that turbulent leg of a person's journey. A part of me cringes at the thought of adolescence not only because of the expected battles of the wills between the adolescent and the parents (and other adults around him/her) but also because of the feeling that he is gradually slipping away. I know we will always have this deep connection but I know too that this relationship will be constantly put to the test as he finds his way in the world in order to discover who he is and carve his unique identity and niche in this world. 2013, please remind me, push me if you will, each time I try to hold on to the kind of mothering that I had been so used to - that protective, know-it-all kind of parenting. Guide me in mothering him as he needs to be mothered at this time in his life: to be there at all times but to be in a safe distance enough to allow him to do things on his own and bear the fruits and consequences of his actions, to have a life apart from mine, and to have his secrets and nurture his own inner life; to share my wisdom without imposing it as the Truth; to guide and not drag him to the fullness of life that God had meant for him; to nurture our relationship as mother and son and to allow a new relationship to emerge - an intimate relationship between two individuals. I know this will be the biggest challenge for me this year and in the next few years. May I not for a minute think that it is just I who struggle, for he will also surely struggle with the challenges of his adolescent journey. Let this journey launch him into manhood with joy and a deep sense of purpose, meaning and fulfillment.
Lastly, 2013, refine and purify me like silver in the ways of loving. I will surely react, afraid as I am of being hurt and rejected, but don't ever let me give up. Rather, help me to welcome love as it comes to my life, in the different ways that it may come, and with the challenges that it may bring.
I'll look forward to your coming and to welcoming all that you will bring. I may be initially resistant to some of these but I know that I will always come to a place where I can say that everything is gift. Welcome, 2013!
La Loba
You will be here in 17 hours. I face your coming with deep anticipation and with lots of hope for a better year. Here are my hopes and wishes as you come.
Please do not pass by so fast as your predecessor did. I hope to see you unfold with all of ME present to you and your unfolding. I want to savor every minute of you and be able to take time to smell the flowers, taste the goodness, feel every emotion, and see and hear everything that you bring. I want to be truly present to each and every moment of your passing, 2013. Please constantly remind me to live the moment.
I still struggle with keeping a healthy balance between my personal and work lives. I know I had improved a bit this year, but I think there is more growing up to do in this area of my life. 2013, please help me to be clearer about my boundaries and priorities. I want to approach my work with dedication and passion and excellence not just because I have to but because I see my work as an expression of my creative self, a reflection of the co-creator that God created each of us to be. Let this be the driving force of all my labor this year: knowing that as I do my work I do my share in God's ongoing work of co-creation to make this world a better, happier, and peaceful place to live. And yet, please don't let me fall prey to Messianic complex tendencies and inappropriate martyrdom. Gently nudge me each time I fall into the trap of self-neglect and of compromising loved ones and other things that are of equal, if not more, value than paid work. Help me to say yes to what is truly important at any given time. Don't let me stray from my life call.
Enzo is turning 13! I'm still in awe as I do my mental scan of his transformation from the fetus that I saw in our first ultrasound of him to the growing boy that he is now. I can deny it if I want, but he is showing all the signs of moving into adolescence. Adolescence, oh, that turbulent leg of a person's journey. A part of me cringes at the thought of adolescence not only because of the expected battles of the wills between the adolescent and the parents (and other adults around him/her) but also because of the feeling that he is gradually slipping away. I know we will always have this deep connection but I know too that this relationship will be constantly put to the test as he finds his way in the world in order to discover who he is and carve his unique identity and niche in this world. 2013, please remind me, push me if you will, each time I try to hold on to the kind of mothering that I had been so used to - that protective, know-it-all kind of parenting. Guide me in mothering him as he needs to be mothered at this time in his life: to be there at all times but to be in a safe distance enough to allow him to do things on his own and bear the fruits and consequences of his actions, to have a life apart from mine, and to have his secrets and nurture his own inner life; to share my wisdom without imposing it as the Truth; to guide and not drag him to the fullness of life that God had meant for him; to nurture our relationship as mother and son and to allow a new relationship to emerge - an intimate relationship between two individuals. I know this will be the biggest challenge for me this year and in the next few years. May I not for a minute think that it is just I who struggle, for he will also surely struggle with the challenges of his adolescent journey. Let this journey launch him into manhood with joy and a deep sense of purpose, meaning and fulfillment.
Lastly, 2013, refine and purify me like silver in the ways of loving. I will surely react, afraid as I am of being hurt and rejected, but don't ever let me give up. Rather, help me to welcome love as it comes to my life, in the different ways that it may come, and with the challenges that it may bring.
 The dandelion - symbol of thriving amidst adversity |
La Loba
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