What happens when you clean your cupboard and shelves?
With the impending change in our household, I forced myself to do what I had been evading for more than a year, that is, to go through the stuff that I had accumulated in my kitchen cupboard and in the shelves in my bedroom.
I knew that this exercise would lead to my discovery and throwing away of about 1/4 of the contents of my cupboard and one of the side tables in the kitchen. I was totally surprised though by what was left after all the expiry date reading and throwing away of everything that was expired from vitamins and food supplements to spices and herbs and various food items such as Vietnamese rice wrapper, vegetarian "pork" floss, teas, and dried seaweeds. More than half had to go!
Likewise, when I started going through the contents of my school/office supplies trays, I found myself throwing away at least 1/3 of the supplies - rusty paper clips and thumb tucks, stamp pad ink that had dried up, ballpens and markers that don't write, bag tags with our old address.
The OC in me is so delighted to see space and order in what used to look like overcrowded shelves and cabinets. Not only once had I suffered a scratch and minor wound from something that would fall on me as I was trying to get something I needed. Now, everything is within easy reach. Now, I know the minor irritations and time wasted in looking for missing objects will be less. Instead of avoiding looking at my shelf in the bedroom I now delight at looking at my stuff nicely sitting in their new organizers.
While going through the motion of reading labels and checking expiry dates and throwing away those that needed to go, I could feel that something was opening up in my inner world as well. The invitation to look more closely at my inner life and re-assess where and how I am investing my energies tugged at my heart and spirit. The call to pay attention to the space I need for other equally, if not more important, aspects of my life was growing louder and louder.
Somehow I know that I have almost gone past the expiry-date-reading stage and it is now time to face the challenge of letting go of that which does not work anymore, of that which has ceased to give meaning and joy to my life, of that which has become a diversion from the path that I am meant to walk. This is a more painful and difficult process as it is not always easy to say goodbye to what has grown so familiar and to what has made life so beautiful at certain junctures of my journey. And so, I remind myself that letting go doesn't mean that I have to say goodbye as well to the beautiful people I had met (some of whom have become good friends) and to the experiences that this leg of the journey had given me. The Bilbo Baggins inside beckons me to leave the comforts of what is and listen to my Tookish side. The Veronika inside assures me that it is perfectly fine to make decisions that may not be acceptable and that may even sound a little insane to some. It may seem like a waste to throw away certain aspects of my life, but if I don't do that, will I ever make sense of this inner chaos? If I hold on to everything, will there ever be space for those that truly matter?
Inner work takes much longer than external cleansing. I know this will take a bit longer. I promise to be kind to myself as I go through this process of letting go. I take comfort in the wonderful feeling of seeing order in chaos, of seeing my cupboard and shelves as I want these to be. I know that internally I will be happy with what comes out of this internal process and brave act of letting go and moving forward. Just as the music of Pink Martini was there to make this morning's cleansing exercise more enjoyable, there will be wells of nourishment and joy as I go through this internal process of letting go and following my path, or, as Joseph Campbell would put it, creating my path as I walk it.
The process is painful and difficult, but it will not kill me. . . and it will surely be filled with joyful surprises. That's my mantra for this leg of the journey.
I knew that this exercise would lead to my discovery and throwing away of about 1/4 of the contents of my cupboard and one of the side tables in the kitchen. I was totally surprised though by what was left after all the expiry date reading and throwing away of everything that was expired from vitamins and food supplements to spices and herbs and various food items such as Vietnamese rice wrapper, vegetarian "pork" floss, teas, and dried seaweeds. More than half had to go!
Likewise, when I started going through the contents of my school/office supplies trays, I found myself throwing away at least 1/3 of the supplies - rusty paper clips and thumb tucks, stamp pad ink that had dried up, ballpens and markers that don't write, bag tags with our old address.
The OC in me is so delighted to see space and order in what used to look like overcrowded shelves and cabinets. Not only once had I suffered a scratch and minor wound from something that would fall on me as I was trying to get something I needed. Now, everything is within easy reach. Now, I know the minor irritations and time wasted in looking for missing objects will be less. Instead of avoiding looking at my shelf in the bedroom I now delight at looking at my stuff nicely sitting in their new organizers.
While going through the motion of reading labels and checking expiry dates and throwing away those that needed to go, I could feel that something was opening up in my inner world as well. The invitation to look more closely at my inner life and re-assess where and how I am investing my energies tugged at my heart and spirit. The call to pay attention to the space I need for other equally, if not more important, aspects of my life was growing louder and louder.
Somehow I know that I have almost gone past the expiry-date-reading stage and it is now time to face the challenge of letting go of that which does not work anymore, of that which has ceased to give meaning and joy to my life, of that which has become a diversion from the path that I am meant to walk. This is a more painful and difficult process as it is not always easy to say goodbye to what has grown so familiar and to what has made life so beautiful at certain junctures of my journey. And so, I remind myself that letting go doesn't mean that I have to say goodbye as well to the beautiful people I had met (some of whom have become good friends) and to the experiences that this leg of the journey had given me. The Bilbo Baggins inside beckons me to leave the comforts of what is and listen to my Tookish side. The Veronika inside assures me that it is perfectly fine to make decisions that may not be acceptable and that may even sound a little insane to some. It may seem like a waste to throw away certain aspects of my life, but if I don't do that, will I ever make sense of this inner chaos? If I hold on to everything, will there ever be space for those that truly matter?
Inner work takes much longer than external cleansing. I know this will take a bit longer. I promise to be kind to myself as I go through this process of letting go. I take comfort in the wonderful feeling of seeing order in chaos, of seeing my cupboard and shelves as I want these to be. I know that internally I will be happy with what comes out of this internal process and brave act of letting go and moving forward. Just as the music of Pink Martini was there to make this morning's cleansing exercise more enjoyable, there will be wells of nourishment and joy as I go through this internal process of letting go and following my path, or, as Joseph Campbell would put it, creating my path as I walk it.
The process is painful and difficult, but it will not kill me. . . and it will surely be filled with joyful surprises. That's my mantra for this leg of the journey.
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