Claiming My Pearl of Great Price

Ready to dive for the pearl of great price (Valugan Boulder Beach, Basco, Batanes; 2014)

A "pearl of great price"seems to have landed on my lap today just when I had been convincing myself that what's before me now is probably all there is to it.  Compromise!

Receiving this invitation which may have the possibility of realizing my heart's most ardent desires and meeting the world's "deepest hunger" has led me to ponder on the reality that sometimes we may not be ready for what we ask for. I had been banging the doors of heaven for a long time; yet, now that the answer seems to be at hand, I'm chickening out.  Am I really unprepared?  Or am I resisting the challenges that go with finally claiming and owning my pearl of great price? Will I compromise with what is secure and seemingly more stable and let my pearl go down the drain?  Am I going to be the pig in whom this pearl is mistakenly thrown away?

Follow your heart. Let the Spirit lead you. Let go and dive into the deep. These are words I'd often admonish people I accompany in their inner journey.  Yet, here I am today, convincing, encouraging, even persuading myself with these same words. My heart knows the answer, but my head, my biggest enemy now, is complicating things.

Where can my gifts be best used in the service of humanity? Where do I grow the most and where can I make a difference? Need I really ask these questions?  Or should I just face my fears and turn to Christ, the "calmer" of my inner chaos and storms?

This isn't how I expect my pearl of great price to come. Like the Emmanuel on the first Christmas, my pearl of great price seems to be coming in a cave on a dark night, devoid of any glamor or charm.   No, my pearl of great price has not come on a bed of roses. Still, it's a pearl I'm ready to leave everything for.